More Recipes

Edith's Moderately Healthy No-Bake Fake Coconut Cream Pie

The Apocolypse-Is-Upon-Us Fat Free Blueberry Spice Cake

New York City. July. 2003. Edith is alone in her livingroom, sprawled across the futon, wearing a muu-muu, craving something sweet, something creamy, something that won't have her chained to the oven for hours on end or make her feel any fatter than she already does. Her roommate has convinced her that AC is for pussies so there she lies fanning herself with an old issue of TimeOut wondering, "What the hell can I make without turning the oven on?" And then it hits her, "Sugar-Free Instant Jello-o pudding." A godsend for calorie counters with sweet-teeth, Instant Jell-o pudding, plus a little culinary imagination, will keep you cool and content when all else fails.

New York City. Thursday August 14th, 2003. That was the night that the lights went out in New York City. On the morning of the blackout, Edith found herself craving something baked. Shock of shocks, she was on another health kick, interested in the "apple sauce as fat-cutter" school of home cookery. So, using inspiration from various sources, she pulled together the following recipe. Little did she know that this dark, dense, moist little wonder would save the day when her refridgerator died and all other edibles had perished in the swealtering heat. The spice cake, containing no animal bi-products, weathered the proverbial storm like a champ, providing nourishment for both Edith and her poor roommate, exhausted and starving after a 7 miles trek home from downtown Manhattan. The cake was all they ate for the next 18 hours.

12 Lady Fingers (Store-bought, not fresh. You want them crunchy) 1 package Jell-O sugar-free instant Vanilla pudding 2 cups skim milk ¼ cup skim milk Ricotta cheese ¼ cup sweetened coconut flakes About 1 cup Lite Cool Whip Cinnamon for garnish Break lady fingers into halves and use to layer the bottom of an 8” pie plate. Using a handheld or standing mixer, add contents of pudding package to 2 cups skim milk and mix for approximately 2 minutes until mixture begins to thicken. Add ricotta cheese and mix on medium speed for another 2 minutes . Pour filling over lady fingers. Sprinkle coconut flakes over the filling and refridgerate for about 20 minutes or until the pudding has set. Spread on a layer of Cool Whip, garnish with a little more cocunut and dust with cinnamon. Refridgerate pie for at least one hour before serving. Banana Cream Variation: Substitute a layer of sliced ripe bananas for coconut flakes.

2 cups blueberries ½ cup AP flour (+ 2 tablespoons) 1 cup whole wheat flour ½ cup oats 1 tablespoon corn starch ½ cup dark brown sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder ½ teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon ginger ¼ teaspoon cloves ¼ teaspoon nutmeg ¼ teaspoon salt 20 ounces unsweetened applesauce 3 tablespoons molasses Preheat oven to 325º. Lightly grease a 9” square baking dish. Wash and thoroughly dry blueberries. Dredge* with 2 tablespoons of flour, set aside. Sift dry ingredients together into a large mixing bowl. Add applesauce and molasses to dry ingredients and mix until incorporated. Fold in berries and pour into reserved baking dish. Bake for about 45 minutes until a toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. For muffins, bake 35 minutes.

*OK, so maybe "dredge" is one of those terms that someone like Carrie would appreciate having explained. Dredging is, very simply, the process of coating a particular ingredient in a small amount of flour. There are a couple different reasons for dredging. In the case of this recipe, you dredge your berries to keep them from sinking to the bottom of the cake. Dredging meats before you sautee them will ensure a lovely golden brown crust. So there you go. Dredging 101. If this explanation isn't sufficient, you'll have to do your own damned research.

Live to Eat