CANADIANS KILL!

Mean Graeme Gillis' Personal Webpage

All right, listen up! I heard it through the grapevine that someone is going around New York telling people that I have the ability to get beligerent and none of you are buying it. What's that about?!? Apparently, people seem to think I'm some sort of nice guy when, in fact, I'm not a nice guy, I'm a friggin' monster. I wonder what you all would think if the person who's going around NYC talking about me, told the WHOLE TRUTH! This just goes to show that you can't trust American's to do anything right. So I'm setting the record straight right here, right now. I am a friggin' asshole and I have pictures to prove it.

I Grew up with men who killed animals!

This is my Pa and that guy with the dead lynx cats is my grand-pap. That's the log cabin where I was born

and where I spent most of my youth perfecting the art of taxidermy. That broom you see in both pictures, that was MY FRIGGIN' BROOM!

One day, I was out sweeping congealed blood off the stoop and this big, old grizzly showed up out of nowhere and started barkin' at me. I beat him to death with my broom. It was easy. He didn't put up a fight or anyhing. Pa, he came out of the cabin and started hollering and doing a little dance, right? Then he got on the CB and spread word near and far that the Gillis' were throwing a big old Grissly bear-be-que. Damned near 18 people showed up that night! Course Pa took all the credit for killing the bear. I had to lug coal up the hill all night long while Grand-pap got wasted and tried to have sex with me. Yep. Just a regular night with the Gillis men.

I played hockey which is the violentest sport ever!

OK, so from left to right it goes: Bick Graffen, Little Tommy Coczjkles (pronounced Cosh-kill-ees), me and Brad Bentley. On the right, a picture of pasty Bick's stupid back after he missed the game-winning goal. I used my hockey stick on Bick in much the same way as I used my broom on that friggin' grizzly. I wish I had a picture of Bick's friggin' face too cuz that looked even worse. Know what the "THJ" stands for on his jeans? The Happy Jizzlobber. You can't see me now but if you could, you'd see I'm cracking up.

I hated all my friends cuz they were assholes.

The bitter friggin' irony of the whole stupid situation was that Larissa and Simone both went on to land this Candian TV pilot rip-off of "Baywatch" called "Splashpark Super Savers" where they played lesbian life-guards. It didn't get picked up cuz they're bitches but I do have to admit that ol' Riss sure slimmed down and buffed up for the part. Simone's thighs however stayed as gigantic as ever.

Proceed to page 2: pictures from my recent trip to Spray Lake with Pa, Grand-Pap and a bunch of other assholes.

Prom night '92. Stupid fat pasty friggin' Bick Graffen smirking from across the room at his pregnant girlfriend Laura. That pink cupcake is my HS girl Larissa. Doesn't she look smug? Sure does. Why? Because she had plans to screw Brad Bently and his new hair-cut (he's hiding behind her because he's friggin' afraid of me) later that night. That's Brad's date Simone LaBianca looking guilty like the bitch that she is in the background..